Rule the Chaos: Bend Without Breaking

Change, the Kübler-Ross Curve, and What To Do When Work Feels Unsteady

Lots of things at work are up in the air right now and because learning is grounding for me, I am digging in to learning and understanding because I don’t like not having an understanding of the full picture.

Roles shifting. Strategies evolving. Decisions pending. Conversations half-finished. That suspended feeling where the map keeps redrawing itself before you have learned the last version.

We often talk about change as a strategy problem.

But it is usually an emotional one.

Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross developed what is now known as the Kübler-Ross model, or the grief curve. It describes the emotional stages people experience in loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.

In business, that framework has been adapted into what many call the Change Curve. And the pattern is surprisingly familiar.

At work it can look like this:

Denial
“This won’t stick.”
“They’ll change it back.”

Frustration
“Why would leadership do this?”
“This makes no sense.”

Confusion
“What does this mean for me?”

Low morale
Energy dips. Engagement thins. Meetings feel heavier.

Acceptance
The new shape of things starts to feel workable.

The important thing to understand is this: the dip is normal.

Where change efforts stall is not usually in strategy. It is in emotion. Teams get stuck in frustration. Or they linger in quiet disengagement. Leaders respond with urgency and more deadlines.

Pressure does not move people through grief.

Clarity and agency do.

When momentum stalls, a few things help:

Name the stage.
Pretending everyone is fine slows progress. Acknowledging that the team is frustrated or uncertain lowers the temperature immediately.

Separate facts from stories.
Uncertainty invites narrative. Clarify what is changing, what is not, and what is still undecided.

Rebuild agency.
Loss of control is the sharpest edge of change. Offer choices where possible. Invite input. Even small ownership restores momentum.

Honor what is ending.
Before rushing forward, acknowledge what worked. People move faster when their past effort is respected.

And then there is something else I have been thinking about.

Pliability.

Resilience is often celebrated in leadership. But resilience implies snapping back to what was. Pliability allows transformation into what is next.

Pliability is not passivity. It is not silent agreement. It is not ignoring your instincts.

It is the ability to bend without breaking.

When work feels unstable, pliability looks like:

Staying curious instead of defensive.
Asking questions instead of assuming intent.
Adjusting tactics without abandoning standards.
Protecting your energy while remaining engaged.

Steel is strong. But in high winds, bamboo survives.

Change is uncomfortable because it rearranges our internal map before the external terrain is clear.

It asks us to move before we feel ready. To trust before we have proof. To adapt before the outcome is visible.

But if we can stay pliable, if we can bend without losing ourselves, we do more than survive the shift.

We grow into it.